Dust off

One thing led to another, and the end of the chain is still nowhere to be found.

Watched sitcom "Ugly Betty", season 1, episode 1. No laugh, not even a smile. It's so real, she's right inside. Doggedly determines to follow what she wants to, though others keep saying that it's unreasonable. Breaks down when dream shatters. Has trouble dealing with all daily financial stuff, from small to big, with no job and an unrealistic career target. What's there to laugh? There's no fresh blossom or rainbow of a color spectrum or bird song or blue sky decorated with fluffy clouds to paint quite a spring picture. It's no comedy but a real tragedy to the character, if one's experienced it for just once.

Others have been telling me the should-dos. All of them are absolutely right, yet put into my reality, it's like someone's on the edge of a cliff which pierces into the sky and telling me, who's kicking hopelessly in a swamp, over the phone to practice bungee jumping. Oh boy, it doesn't matter what I am, whether I'm special, I'm persistent, I'm really bull-headed, or my ego is huge enough or not; and I'm in no way trying to prove it. There's one thing I do gratefully extract from these conversations - I should learn how to free self, and that, I guess I can only get from "a DIY store". It's about self, isn't it?

"Is your life collecting dust?"
"No more, I'm dusting me off."

Do you ever believe in something "written in the stars", in other words, fate?