Rambling on

Unfold


1. Happy moments and mishaps are just like tangled roses - they circle around you, and you don't know how to get out. In fact, you don't need to get out. You don't know what tomorrow is gonna be until tomorrow really comes - life unfolds as each day passes by. The unexpected. Isn't that what we are living for?


2. This time last year I lost my cell, and yesterday I lost something, much bigger. It wasn't an object but what I'd been sweating for. If you've ever had your diary soaked in the rain, you'd understand. Anyway, either it's a busy month for thieves or it's me who always turn out to be blah blah in December.


3. C: Well I think you cannot do anything now in any way. So, don't you think it is better to think of something else?
M: No holiday mood, totally .
C: Keep going, keep going...
M: Nah it's gone with the thief...
C: Oh c'mon... Don't you know that you have to take more effort to wear a sad face than a smiling one? You have to move at least 17 muscles.
M: I kinda know, but it's hard to lift the muscles up.
C: Start from the cheeks, now lift them up! It sounds stupid but sometimes works.
M: Err, you know, I heard they say if you can't smile, hold a pencil across your mouth... It just seems that I can't do it properly.
C: Ahaha
C: Uhm I'm not sure it works. I'm trying but...
M: Oh you're trying!
C: I can still keep the mouth closed!
...
C: Nope, definitely does not work .
M: You have to keep your mouth open.
C: Ahh... Seems more difficult!
M: It is not, but then you might start drooling...
C: Oh nooo... actually drooling...
M: Haha, I know!
C: Hey... "Haha"? What's that? Perhaps...
C: ... a smile?
M: No, I laughed!


4. Just when I was so determined to get my dream lens (this kind of stuff is always an impulsive buy, by the way), either the shops ran out of stock or the lens was like $100 overpriced. I might plunk down part of the savings on a whim, but if it's meant to be, it'll be. If not, letting time pass by doesn't sound bad. No, not at all.


5. She's just gorgeous. I never believed in having a girlfriend - what I can recall is that girlfriends tend to overdose on gossiping and shopping, which I would say I don't like, if hate. She changed my mind. We share the same love and hate, from photography, the only certain kinds of stuff that forcefully make us drag our legs outdoors to do the so-called shopping, the exact colors that make our favorite palette, to how we are against being taken photos of. I don't like good-looking faces, but I do like her sharp and pretty features. She loves the handicrafts I picked up for her home design. It's hard to believe I could move from cafe to cafe with a smoker for four straight hours, exchanging words and truly enjoying the evening without having to shoot any photo to satisfy myself.


6. It is neither warm nor cool - everyday is a cloudy day with a few drizzles here and there. After four weeks of rain, I start to miss the sharp-edged sun, or at least the warm sunbeams in October in Hanoi. I especially miss the vibrant faces of people riding bikes to work in the first autumn sun rays between rows of leafy trees. I never know why light has such a luminous quality - it radiates gold on faces, it conveys emotions.


7. There is no seventh thing to say... It just feels good to type "seven".


Transparent picture

Hang in there (and yawn)


Things slow down in December. So does my brain.

Things get blurred in the pouring rain. So does my presence.

I start to think about the time when I retire, and picture myself making a living by taking photos for kids at a park where ducks quack around me. I don't think I'll like that. The picture lacks something, or someone.

I temporarily lose my passion for everything. I miss the time when I zestfully left my hair damp from the rain, crawling on my knees and belly in the middle of a lawn, attempting to shoot photos of red-eyed flies and raindrops. Rain is not the reason. The picture lacks something, or someone.

I desperately am looking for a macro lens. I just had a thought that I might fall in love with anyone who gives me a Tamron SP 90mm or a Canon EF 100mm. It might boost my ego a little bit, or help me find the passion for images again.

The rain seeps though a spider web, yet pieces of music just don't seep through me. Someone says I could capture the beauty in my own world through my viewfinder, but in fact my own world is merely flat, with roads white with pebbles and knee-high grass running rampant. Wild and insipid. The picture lacks something, or someone.

"The piano keys are black and white
But they sound like a million colors in your eyes..."

When's that?