Reposted: 00.36am

New Year came. 36 minutes ago. It came anyway, even if there had been no counting down.

It was a year of twists and turns. A year of 16 flights. The flights left me with so much more than just stamps on my crumpled passport. The two extreme ends of the spectrum of emotions, and definitely nothing in between. All months shouldn't be at least considered, except that I loved November and December. By "loved," I mean it.

It's been raining. I'd scoffed at the thought of sneaking through the crowd with my swollen face, so simply I holed up in a corner all night. No counting down, and a lot of counting up.

Happy New Year.

Simple Friday

So I went shopping today. The decision came out of the blue, and I don't regret that despite the fact that I have always HATED shopping. Don't be surprised, as a Facebook quiz congratulated me on being 0% girly! True enough. I have taken care of all heavy work for the past two months--from painting walls, cementing some surfaces in the restrooms, fixing the shower, assembling tables, screwing stuff to hammering nails into the walls. They put me under stress, and yet made me kinda proud of my "ability" and endurance.

Back to the shopping thing, I realize I have learnt to make quick decisions. That was a wow to myself when it took me only about 10 minutes to pick up an item and make payment. I used to annoy sellers when I selected stuff, tried on, walked away, and came back after two hours or so. Not sure if there's something to do with being a Libran, but I like to blame it on that (duh!). I got myself two pairs of earrings, a thin (almost see-through kinda thing) shirt, and a funky scarf. I even don't know when on earth the weather would favor my scarf while we have only two seasons in the South--dry and rainy. As I'm suffering from a slight cold, I'd like to convince myself that I will wear it at work, though I know perhaps I'll just tie it around the bag handle.

In spite of not being a fan of shopping, I LOVE wandering about looking for funky unique accessories, which serves as a motivation for me to learn to ride a scooter. I've got heaps of necklaces and a collection of single earrings which I like to mix together. I got them from wherever I put my footsteps, and the collection is like a photo album--you can't stop reminiscing once the pages are turned.

Let this be the closing of today, a simple Friday with simple fun. I might sleep in tomorrow morning, and hole up in the corner of my bedroom with "The Kite Runner" if it rains. Ah, just the thought of it makes me feel so good...

I gotta pack?

So, I still haven't touched a thing while supposed to be PACKING. The word itself gives me goosebumps, as I've done that more than 30 times through 7 times of house moving (yep, it was the university hostel's call, not mine) and myriad flights over the past 7 years. Packin' is heavy work which I think a man should do; a woman only shines in categorizing stuff and pointing fingers as to where certain stuff should go. Unfortunately no man volunteers *sigh*.

Jokes aside, it is, in fact, a very big part of me that doesn't want to get started. I've grown a love for this tiny room on the 9th floor over the year. Last summer I moved in, awful sick and funny-lookin' with a swollen cheek due to a stubborn wisdom tooth. I don't know where time's gone, but now I have difficulty making myself believe that I'm really leaving. When the mind is hesitant, the limbs won't move.

I loved this room at first sight. When I saw the lime wall, I knew it must be mine. The wall's color makes me feel energetic always, and I have a set of lime bedding to match it. I fetched all IKEA stuff back (bedhead lamp, standing lamp, bedding, desk, chair, soft toys, clock, dustbin, etc.) with eagerness, just like a happy worker bee. Things that have stayed with us for a period of time appear to have souls, and definitely it's their souls that I'm gonna miss badly, for as long as I could reminisce...

Sleepyhead

+ =

Find

"Whenever you're falling down
Hopeless and pushed around
Find your own melody..."

It ain't easy. It's just necessary.

Khịt :-&

[Monday morning. At the reception in office.]

- You're Van Le, right?
- Yes, at least I think so.
- These flowers are sent to you!
- Huh?
- Here, your name is on the card, so they're yours!
- Huh??
- [A pat on the shoulder] Yours lah! Must be your boyfriend lah! Nice lilies!
- Huh???

The card starts with, "I was right about you - you are definitely the smiling one!"

Huh? Aren't I?

[Flickr stuff] Icon of the day

My "I saw you" - first photo of the year, first tribute to someone - was chosen to be Icon of the Day of The World Through My Eyes group!

Not the first time somewhere on Flickr, but it still feels good to fool yourself that you're seen and featured by a group of 32,000-something members on the day that you do none but cough and sneeze. Oh well, it isn't too bad to be shallow once in a while.

Best regards to other victims of the damn flu bugs :).






http://twtme-icon-of-the-day-winners.blogspot.com/

L is not for love

L is not always for "love", if seldom. They ask me if L is for "lies", "lost", "lonely", or "lust". Lust? I wish! The rest take turn to happen as daubs on a canvas called life.

I am still silently passionate about certain things, which keeps me alive. Yet not long ago I realized being alive was far from being lively. I bumped into a long-lost friend named Lost, and he gave me a middle name - Procrastination.

A friend says this feeling is something like a mid-career (?!) crisis which actively hits many a person who is hanging around in his late 20s (again, ?!). I don't know how much of this is true, but I know that when we reach a point on the hillside and have a realistic two-hundred-degree view of the world around us, we are uncertain about whether we should continue the trek to the very top so as to get a full view.

I am no longer interested in staying in put in one place for ever, and yet life sucks without any sense of belonging. I am numb surrounded by those who are so close yet so strange; at the same time, I dislike taking a stroll with myself everyday, memorizing each stone under my feet. There must be something out there, something more than just people getting together or strictly being with yourself.

I've been longing for a macro lens. Some say I'd flood Flickr with silly close-ups, others say a macro lens isn't what I need as ultimately it's my viewfinder that counts.

Perhaps another hillside might give a new view.

Perhaps I just need to turn on a faucet and splash my face, as perhaps water will wash something away.

So, a new calendar huh!

Nothing new has yet happened, but it can't be denied that we gotta start using another calendar from today. So, it's about time we said this:

Rambling on

1. Happy moments and mishaps are just like tangled roses - they circle around you, and you don't know how to get out. In fact, you don't need to get out. You don't know what tomorrow is gonna be until tomorrow really comes - life unfolds as each day passes by. The unexpected. Isn't that what we are living for?

2. This time last year I lost my cell, and yesterday I lost something, much bigger. It wasn't an object but what I'd been sweating for. If you've ever had your diary soaked in the rain, you'd understand. Anyway, either it's a busy month for thieves or it's me who always turn out to be blah blah in December.


3. C: Well I think you cannot do anything now in any way. So, don't you think it is better to think of something else?
M: No holiday mood, totally .
C: Keep going, keep going...
M: Nah it's gone with the thief...
C: Oh c'mon... Don't you know that you have to take more effort to wear a sad face than a smiling one? You have to move at least 17 muscles.
M: I kinda know, but it's hard to lift the muscles up.
C: Start from the cheeks, now lift them up! It sounds stupid but sometimes works.
M: Err, you know, I heard they say if you can't smile, hold a pencil across your mouth... It just seems that I can't do it properly.
C: Ahaha
C: Uhm I'm not sure it works. I'm trying but...
M: Oh you're trying!
C: I can still keep the mouth closed!
...
C: Nope, definitely does not work .
M: You have to keep your mouth open.
C: Ahh... Seems more difficult!
M: It is not, but then you might start drooling...
C: Oh nooo... actually drooling...
M: Haha, I know!
C: Hey... "Haha"? What's that? Perhaps...
C: ... a smile?
M: No, I laughed!


4. Just when I was so determined to get my dream lens (this kind of stuff is always an impulsive buy, by the way), either the shops ran out of stock or the lens was like $100 overpriced. I might plunk down part of the savings on a whim, but if it's meant to be, it'll be. If not, letting time pass by doesn't sound bad. No, not at all.


5. She's just gorgeous. I never believed in having a girlfriend - what I can recall is that girlfriends tend to overdose on gossiping and shopping, which I would say I don't like, if hate. She changed my mind. We share the same love and hate, from photography, the only certain kinds of stuff that forcefully make us drag our legs outdoors to do the so-called shopping, the exact colors that make our favorite palette, to how we are against being taken photos of. I don't like good-looking faces, but I do like her sharp and pretty features. She loves the handicrafts I picked up for her home design. It's hard to believe I could move from cafe to cafe with a smoker for four straight hours, exchanging words and truly enjoying the evening without having to shoot any photo to satisfy myself.


6. It is neither warm nor cool - everyday is a cloudy day with a few drizzles here and there. After four weeks of rain, I start to miss the sharp-edged sun, or at least the warm sunbeams in October in Hanoi. I especially miss the vibrant faces of people riding bikes to work in the first autumn sun rays between rows of leafy trees. I never know why light has such a luminous quality - it radiates gold on faces, it conveys emotions.


7. There is no seventh thing to say... It just feels good to type "seven".

Transparent picture

Things slow down in December. So does my brain.

Things get blurred in the pouring rain. So does my presence.

I start to think about the time when I retire, and picture myself making a living by taking photos for kids at a park where ducks quack around me. I don't think I'll like that. The picture lacks something, or someone.

I temporarily lose my passion for everything. I miss the time when I zestfully left my hair damp from the rain, crawling on my knees and belly in the middle of a lawn, attempting to shoot photos of red-eyed flies and raindrops. Rain is not the reason. The picture lacks something, or someone.

I desperately am looking for a macro lens. I just had a thought that I might fall in love with anyone who gives me a Tamron SP 90mm or a Canon EF 100mm. It might boost my ego a little bit, or help me find the passion for images again.

The rain seeps though a spider web, yet pieces of music just don't seep through me. Someone says I could capture the beauty in my own world through my viewfinder, but in fact my own world is merely flat, with roads white with pebbles and knee-high grass running rampant. Wild and insipid. The picture lacks something, or someone.

"The piano keys are black and white
But they sound like a million colors in your eyes..."

When's that?

Serious conversation

- Turn your head, please, so that I could take a photo of ya...
- No.
- Your face doesn't look good and clean. Can you go wash your face?
- No.
- Smile?
- No.

But when I asked if he could show me how big his belly was, he bent backwards and breathed in to make his belly look like a frog's. Then he gave me a proud smile.

Sour

That's it. No more thinkin'.

When life turns sour, add in some lime pulp blended w/ mayo and vinegar. Don't ask me what kinda drink that is. Instead, give me ice cubes.

Just trying to sound complicated. Well, simply I need a break from my corny cheesy pathetic way of living.

As simple as that...

For years back. And for today.

Black means fullness

Without black, a picture misses its precious audience, who has the best view of contrast in lighting - the color blind.

Pro-ed

I've got my Flickr account pro-ed today. It feels just great to have a dream come true, and it's perfect not to have to pay. A pro account to a Flickr addict means much more than its face value, and well, of course, it made my day!

Tản mạn: Protection

"Everyone needs protection," I said, in the weak light from my small lamp clamped on the bed's head board .
"No I don't!" she jumped up from the floor and curled into the blanket.
"You do, hon. You are defending yourself. It's self-protection."
And she was already snoring.

Protection. It's almost non-existent, but...

You have your purse zipped up and avoid ice-cream shops for one whole day after you buy a 1-grant-worth camera. The next day you think you've saved a lot.
You have a scar on your left leg, and when standing, you hide your left leg behind the right one, and lean your arms against the wall so that you won't fall.
You think a rose isn't a rose if without thorns.
You reckon that a boy or a girl just tries, and always fails, to act cool when s/he doesn't have someone to date.
You have a pimple on your face, and you spend 20 bucks on a tube of concealer just to cover it. When you regret later, you spend quite an amount of time persuading yourself into believing that you will of course use it in the future.
...
And one day you feel low, you're scared as you suddenly realize that you can't think of any name to make a phone call to...

Have you ever noticed hair on a poppy's stem? It's protection. A flimsy tent could offer you a little protection in the storm, and a little is whole lot different from none. Life is way better off when you know protection is just around to be found.

It

I call it an end. It's done, finally.

Chin up

Feel

Two people expressed their love on one of my chocolate photo pages. As sweet as any couple could be, he then proposed to her, and in reply she said yes. I'm just feeling pure happiness for them, although I don't know who they are. Well, two people on a cloud.

They must be having a blast; I can't understand their feelings though. What does love feel like? Doesn't it sound like a corny question? You may cry, "Oh, I'm hearing a reprise, over and over again," but I meant differently. One might feel it in a certain way of his own, but he may not know how it feels to his lover. It's just like when you taste chocolate -- you feel bitter on your tastebuds, and yet another person says it's sweet. Have you ever really meant it when you say "How are you?"...

Flickr CY admin

A secret admin voting session, a secret discussion, and no hint at all. One sweet day, I, wearing a fairly stupid face in front of the screen and drinking fresh milk (see?!), received an invitational mail from Flickr; I said yes. And so, that's how I became a Flickr CY Admin. No salary yet instant glory - that's their motto!